The Lord Of Dance
by Dragon'sHost
Summary: Vijeeter's friends decide to tell Lucy - in their own biased and not-entirely-trustworthy version that takes place long after said events have concluded - the story about how the man once found himself in the interesting position of having to save the world himself. Through interpretive dance.
1. Plie

**I noticed that there are no Vijeeter fics in English on this site. As a Vijeeter fangirl, I felt the need to remedy this immediately. And this was born.**

**To forewarn you guys, I'm not actually all that familiar with dance and dance moves. So if I get something incorrect, or if there's something you wish to see, let me know! I have absolutely no idea where I'm going with this fic, anyway. Let's see where it leads.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Fairy Tail**

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><p><em><strong>Plie<strong>_

_A bending of the knees in any of the five positions. The first exercises done in every class to loosen muscles, the foundation of the dancers' technique._

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><p>When Lucy had discovered her father's passing, she had been forced to realize that the world had indeed become an entirely different place. Essentially overnight. So if she wanted to avoid further unpleasant surprises, and learn how to survive and deal with her changed world, she needed to find out just what had occurred in those intervening years.<p>

Even if she had to interrogate every single member of the guild that had lived through it.

Luckily, it didn't have to come to that. Max, social butterfly that he was, was only too happy to indulge his fellow blonde's rampant curiosity. Warren, Nab, and Reedus as well were pleased to oblige Lucy's request for information – ecstatic and still riding the waves of joy that came with everyone's return.

Nab, despite never taking on mage jobs, wasn't exactly jobless, she discovered. He actually held down steady employment at the local animal shelter, where his Animal-Possession magic came in handy dealing with some of the larger, magical beasts. Lucy didn't understand why he didn't consider this a mage job, but she decided to leave that can of worms unopened. For now. She'd get to the bottom of it someday.

Max had a keen mind for business, which Lucy had already been aware of. However, what she didn't know was that he'd continued his studies the past few years and honestly could've done just as well at a Merchant Guild or working with her father's Konzern. He had blushed profusely when she mentioned it, insisting that he was more suited to mage work, anyway.

Warren still took on a ton of jobs, despite the decreased number available these days. But Lucy found out it was mostly because the man simply enjoyed traveling to far-flung places and immersing himself into whatever local culture he happened upon. His stories of distant lands reminded Lucy of the childhood tales she loved the most.

Reedus remained mostly silent throughout the discussion, his sketchbook open and an incomplete landscape starting to take form. Despite not being particularly talkative like the other three men, he still added his own, often insightful commentary to whatever topic had come up.

Although she'd never spoken to these particular men at great length before, Lucy was seriously enjoying their company and conversation.

Or at least, she was until they mentioned something she just couldn't wrap even her large brain around.

"So the world seriously remained safe the entire time we were gone?" Lucy inquired, incredulous and disbelieving at such an occurrence. Or rather, the lack of one. "I mean, before we left it was nothing but Dark Guilds trying to take over the world, or other worlds trying to steal all the magic, or awakening demons on remote islands! As soon as one adventure finished, we were immediately off on another! Are you really telling me that as soon as we disappeared, people stopped being interested in world domination and destruction?"

Max laughed at Lucy's lamentation. "Pretty much! You were all trouble magnets! Especially you and your team. I mean… the world only really started getting in so much trouble when you joined and formed Team Natsu."

"You're not making me feel any better!" The blonde girl groaned and slumped at the table. "Seven years of peace, and I missed it!" Knowing her team, it wouldn't be long before they got caught up in another fiasco that required pulling a miracle out of their asses.

It was Warren's turn to grin at her. "It wasn't entirely tranquil, you know," he pointed out. "There were still monsters and Dark Guilds to defeat. Just… none of them were plotting world domination."

"See, Lucy?" Max patted her on the back and teased her lightly. "The antics of your team are what inspire evildoers to be all they can be. You give them aspirations and ambitions to work towards – making their lives so much fuller than they previously were. Now that you guys are back, I'm sure things will get interesting again real quick."

She sobbed. "Really not helping!"

Glancing up from his sketch of a beautiful mountain lake, Reedus joined the conversation. "Oui. Besides, aren't you all forgetting that one incident a few years back?"

Nab nodded. "That's right – I remember now. There was that one time."

The other two looked contemplative. "Oh!" Max exclaimed. "It's true. There was that one thing. Well, I guess that means that it wasn't entirely uneventful while you were all gone."

Lucy brightened at the possibility that maybe her team wasn't indirectly responsible for all the trouble in the world. "What thing? Tell me more!"

Humming, Max allowed his fellow blonde to stew in her curiosity a few seconds before taking pity on her. "It was a couple of years after Tenrou Island. One of the remaining members took what looked like a simple job, but it turned out that there was more to it than what he initially thought. He ended up foiling someone's plans for world domination."

"Who?! Who?! Tell me! What happened?!" Lucy demanded, her writer's instincts kicking into gear. There was a story to be had here; she was certain of it!

The men chuckled at her enthusiasm. Stringing the blonde along on a tale might turn out fun.

"It was Vijeeter," Max supplied, pointing out their guild mate.

Lucy turned to look at the brunette. The young man was vigorously demonstrating his newest and greatest dance upon the top of a table a few paces from where Lucy sat. She tilted her head as he pulled off a complicated move that openly defied the limitations of the human skeletal system – and physics. Lucy hadn't been aware spines could _do_ that.

Blinking, she glanced at her companions. "Vijeeter did? How? Through interpretive dance?"

"Actually, yeah," Warren supplied. He was hard put to restrain his laughter at Lucy's dumbfounded expression. "Would you like to hear the story?"

Without even needing to think about it, Lucy replied with a resounding, "Yes!"

Max waved Mirajane over for a new round of drinks. This was going to take a while – they may as well get comfortable.

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><p><strong>Please review and let me know what you think!<strong>


	2. Accent

**I'm so excited by how many people are interested in this very, very strange story. It's not going to get any less odd from here on out. In fact, I switched the genre from Humor to Parody. There will also be shameless and completely unnecessary destruction of the Fourth Wall. Point of view may jump a bit, because Lucy won't be able to resist adding commentary along the way.**

**Now let's satire and dance on!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Fairy Tail.**

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><p><em><strong>Accent<strong>_

_The dominant beat of the music measure, usually the first beat of the measure._

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><p>Despite her guild mates' willingness and indeed eagerness to extol to Lucy about their friend's bravery and secretly awesome ass-kicking self…<p>

None of them could actually agree on where to start the story.

Lucy well understood the issue for it was a common enough problem for the blonde girl. As an aspiring author there was little she feared more than a blank sheet of paper. She had faced down dark guilds, bandits, perverts, slave-traders, and all sorts of other human ilk over the course of her adventures – and this was not taking into account the monsters, demons, giant machines, man-eating plants, her own Spirits, and of course, THE DRAGON. Lucy was no stranger to terror, but staring at that gleaming, white expanse of wood pulp brought her the closest she'd ever come to admitting defeat.

So she understood their conundrum. Really, she did.

Their bickering was beginning to wear down her patience, however.

"Come on, Max! We can't start with the villains!" Warren protested, the natural story-teller in him rebelling against such an idea. "How will their big reveal have any impact that way?"

The Sand Mage rolled his eyes at his friend. "It's called foreshadowing, dumbass. We give away just enough information for the listener to be intrigued."

Lucy couldn't help but think it wouldn't really matter if they never even started telling the story.

Judging by the way Warren and Max were flinging around terms like allegory, denouement, and syntax, though? Levy, Freed, and Lucy might not be the only bookworms in the guild after all. Maybe they should form a book club.

"Non," Reedus interrupted the pair of best friends. "Backdrop is the most important part of any tale – most especially one in an oratory format. Scenery must first be created and then the characters can placed within. Location is half of any story!"

The Celestial Mage was beginning to wonder if they were ever going to get around to it.

Also, she was a bit nervous about them arguing the finer points of the tale at the top of their lungs when the protagonist was blithely dancing away on a tabletop not five paces away. Casting a glance at the man, Lucy didn't think Vijeeter had noticed anything going on yet. But it was only a matter of time before he did. There was always the chance that he wouldn't be amused by his portrayal and shut the production down before Lucy heard the end of it. If there was one thing she could not stand, it was an unfinished story.

Surprisingly, Nab was the one with the best plan. "Wait… why don't we just start with why Vijeeter took the job in the first place? I mean, I must have looked at that flyer over a dozen times without taking it. What about you guys?"

Raising an eyebrow, Lucy studied the shocked expressions on the others' faces. "Did you guys never ask Vijeeter why he took the job?"

They remained silent.

"You didn't ask him."

This did not bode well for their credibility or the accuracy of the tale they were to weave. Or even if they knew what the hell they were talking about at all.

But then Lucy mentally shrugged. Did it really matter in the end? Half the fun would be in the exaggerations and outright mistakes. And the only person who could contradict what was about to be said was at the moment oblivious to the fact he was the topic of conversation amongst his friends.

For a man that wore a perpetual frown upon his face, he did rather seem to be enjoying himself.

But anyone with the ability to stand perfectly on pointe for as long as Vijeeter could deserved at least _some _respect, as far as Lucy was concerned. She'd suffered through enough lessons during her heiress training to know how rigorous and muscle-taxing some of those dance moves could be (especially if a corset was added into the equation).

Warren cleared his throat in a transparent attempt to cover up their information deficiency. "How about I just start the story?"

The rest readily agreed, as Warren did have the most experience in telling tall tales.

Lucy couldn't understand why it took them so long to come to that conclusion.

"Now… It all started one summer's day…"

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><p>One summer's day in winter, Vijeeter realized that his cash was in short supply for the month's expenses. Although he had enough Jewel reserves to take care of his rent so his terrifying landlady wouldn't come after him for it with her suspiciously animate fox stole, his food budget was looking a little tight. Not to mention the exorbitant utility bills that were the standard of city living.<p>

Why Vijeeter had suddenly run out of money was mystery unimportant to the plot.

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><p>"Shoes," Lucy interrupted, propping her elbow up on the table and resting her head in the palm of her hand. She stared wistfully at thin air while the men eyed her like a dangerous beast.<p>

Having once accidentally been pulled into a discussion on the articles of clothing by Laki, Max felt distinct wariness about broaching the subject. However, because of this prior experience, he also thought he could probably handle whatever girly-speak Lucy was sure to lob at him and emerge with his masculinity still intact. "Why shoes?" he asked.

Focusing on the other blonde mage, Lucy sighed. "Do you have any idea how expensive a good pair of shoes can cost a girl?" Their blank stares did not even warrant passing recognition from the Celestial Mage as she continued, "Let me tell you – these ones that I'm wearing now? 40,000 Jewel. No, seriously. And they're not even the costliest pair in my apartment." One day, she was going to save up enough money to purchase a shoe display cabinet. A fire-retardant one. "And that's normal everyday footwear. The specialized variety made to endure the most onerous of mage jobs can cost more than two months rent but they're durable and totally worth it. At least, until a certain idiotic Dragon Slayer _sets them on fire_, that is."

This was looking to be a long rant.

"Regardless, I can't even imagine the kind of wear and tear Vijeeter must put his shoes through as a dancer. And dancing shoes are just as expensive as the magical ones. I don't even want to think about magical dancing footwear! Simple flats must cost a large chunk of change, and that's not even going into what toe-shoes must go for."

Max decided that Lucy needed to be stopped. "Does Vijeeter even wear shoes?"

Mouth shutting with a snap, Lucy covertly side-eyed the brunette. "Yeah."

"No… I meant back then. Wasn't he still wearing that body suit all the time?"

"I have no idea," Warren admitted. "Can we just move on now?"

Lucy huffed. They should be grateful she hadn't pointed out the glaring errors already present in their story or for the blatant rip-off of her own monetary situation as a story device just because they hadn't bothered to ask their friend about why he took the job that nearly ended the world. She had even been kind enough to supply a plausible reason for the Jewel shortage to add depth to the tale.

Although, it was entirely possible Vijeeter had exactly the same issues she did when it came to rent. Lucy did have neighbors in her apartment building after all – she'd never met them but she was pretty sure she still had them – and her landlady could very well be his landlady, too. The woman had become something of a real estate mogul during the seven year hiatus.

"Moving on…"

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><p>Regardless of why Vijeeter was coming up short for his monthly expenses, he was. Which meant that he needed to take a job soon.<p>

Vijeeter was picky about his jobs. He only liked to take ones that brought him closer to his dream of traveling to the land of artists known as Minstrel. Merely getting to the country was an endeavor what with crippling emigration and immigration fees and permits to deal with (price-gouging bureaucracy knew no borders – except for the ones it could exploit). Securing a teacher and a decent place to live in the foreign nation and fluctuating currency exchange rates were hurdles almost insurmountable to a mage with little liquid capital.

So jobs taken must earn Vijeeter enough money to pay off his debts, grow his meager savings, and provide experience to further his dancing talents.

As he danced his way to the guild in the pouring rain, he contemplated the inevitable compromise he would have to make. This month, his money concerns would trump his career advancement and dream fulfillment. To any passerby (had there been any crazy enough to brave the storm) it would have seemed like a simple frolic in the downpour, though it was anything but.

Upon arriving at the guild, our favorite dancing mage made his way up to the request board. Nab was already stationed at the board, engaged in the noble pursuit of trying to find the job most suited for his talents. Surely there was something that required his expertise and no one else's… he just needed to find it. Also, what would the poor requester do if he were out on another job at the time the perfect request came in?

Thanks to this, Nab was very familiar with all the requests on the board and only needed to be asked where the best job for every mage in the guild was. Vijeeter, amazing friend that he was, knew to utilize this resource in his hunt. Though this time he wasn't holding out much hope.

To his surprise, Nab immediately produced a request that suited all of Vijeeter's requirements!

Glancing over it, Vijeeter approved and thanked Nab for his kind and thoughtful actions.

After it was approved by Master Macao, he sashayed his way out the doors and into the bright sunlight to meet his destiny.

After all, it was just a job to guard a dance troupe's caravan as it made its way through a gloomy, spooky forest where dark guilds and monsters were known to lurk.

What could possibly go wrong?

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><p>Lucy leveled a hard, disbelieving stare at her tablemates. "Are you kidding me?" she muttered.<p>

"So?!" Warren and Max chimed eagerly, leaning in to see her reaction. "What do you think so far?"

Clearing her throat, she began to list off a few… issues she had thus far, "If you guys don't know what time of the year, or the weather in which this took place just leave it out. Do you guys even know what sashay means? And don't think I didn't notice the shameless self-plugging."

The men laughed nervously, and Nab had the decency to look embarrassed.

"Also…"

Her stare only became more flat.

"You're basically saying it's all Nab's fault?"

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><p><strong>And there we have it – the beginning of the tale. Please review and let me know what you think – who knows, you might inspire something. *wink*<strong>


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